I will never forget it. It was a life altering crisis point in my life. It was devastating and it shook me to the core.
It was the moment when it was undeniably and painfully made clear to me that the life I had artfully crafted had suffered irreparable harm and would never be the same. The details of the scenario don’t matter. I had suffered perhaps the most hurtful, poignant betrayal a person could but it could have been clothed in any numerous situations or circumstances. What matters is that hopes and dreams were crashing and burning around me like an apocalyptic meteor shower!
The life that I had spent years forming; gone in a flash. I was completely crushed! With my faith now completely violated, I did what any normal human would do. I blamed God.
After all, my life’s pursuit had only been about serving Him. Is this what I get in return for all the effort? The least He could do was afford me the courtesy of ascribing the blame to Him!
I couldn’t realize at that time how selfish I was. I was the center of my own universe and I had graciously permitted God entrance into my world. Not only had i crafted a “me-verse”, i had done a pretty incredible job of forming a God to my personal liking and was using Him as the validation for all things revolving around me.
After much pain and brokenness, I began to realize that the natural course of my efforts simply came to fruition and produced an inevitable outcome……..death. After years of process, I understood that there wasn’t enough room on the throne of my life for me and God. God wasn’t responsible for what happened. He had just been waiting for the appropriate opportunity to take His rightful place. Once there, He would begin to reveal Himself as He desired to be known rather than how I had formed Him through being indoctrinated in man’s theology and doctrine. A word to the wise: God is not to be studied and figured out through religious exercise; He is to be revealed through relationship.
I found that place in Him after a while. When I got to the point of releasing “ministry”, realizing that my identity wasn’t meant to be in my “gifting” and that He didn’t love me because of what I “could do for Him”, then He was able to begin to show Himself to me as He truly wants to be known! His love for me was based upon the value He had established in his heart for me. It was personified in/through Christ’s finished work and not my own. I simply had to have faith to receive it.
But, there was a problem. My faith couldn’t receive something I hadn’t earned. He wanted to deal His measure of Faith to me. That is why my faith, the faith I took such pride in, had to be violated. The “God” I had made fell short and had to be displaced so that God Himself could be known!
One of my favorite writers is C.S. Lewis. He once said,
My good friend, Merriam Webster, defines an iconoclast as a person who destroys religious images or opposes their veneration; who attacks settled beliefs or institutions.
The word comes from Medieval Latin, iconoclasts and from the Middle Greek, eikonoklastēs and it literally means image destroyer.
(I’m smiling as I write this because I love it!)
God will NOT be defined by the images we create of Him. He WILL break them every time!
Over the last 15 years or so, the violations of faith come and, although He is the same yesterday, today and forever, He continually reveals Himself in ways I’ve never known.
Here’s a suggestion. Let’s stop wasting time and effort in crafting images of what God ought to be or needs to be according to our extremely finite minds. Instead, why don’t we open our spirits and allow Him to reveal Himself according to His desire and change our minds (repent)? He is the Holy One. He is the Almighty God! He wants to conform us to the image or icon of the Son! He doesn’t need to be conformed to our ideal.
In this new year of 2013, expect God to further destroy your idols and images of who He is, what He is after and what He is doing! Expect your faith to be violated and tried that it might be purified and that which remains, will be purely of Him!
Eternal life is knowing Him and He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. But, we must have faith to believe in how He truly exists and not how we want Him to exist. He is far beyond what we know and what our current religious exercise will allow. His riches are inexhaustible! The current revelation you have of Hi. Was given simply to prepare you for the next revelation to come. His desire is to further reveal Himself in true and genuine ways in the midst of those who will receive Him.
My prayer for you this year is that you have the faith to receive Him in the fullness He desires to being!
Keep your peace!